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He's the rascally cyborg about town, the virtual man with a plan to rule Cyberspace. CYBORG LIFE! is proud to present the first and only interview with The Hacker, the wily villain of CYBERCHASE! Our intrepid reporter, CyBob, met up with The Hacker in a secluded chat room over lattes to learn more about this ambitious rising star in the Internet firmament.
 Your exploits are the buzz of Cyberspace. You threw the symmetrical world of Symmetria into chaos, pilfered pods in Poddleville and nabbed an irregular area in the Sensible Flats land grab. You're a true man of mystery -- a celebrity. And our readers want to know more. Can I call you Hacker?
 That's "THE Hacker" to you!
THE Hacker, OK. How about just "The." But seriously, people everywhere want to know more about your outrageous quest to take over Cyberspace. What inspired you to take on this fascinating challenge?
Well, I'm glad you asked. As you know I have an extraordinary mind. My designs and prodigious programs helped build Cyberspace. Yet, Motherboard always took the credit. -- Would you mind taking your feet off the table when I speak? -- She lacked the villainous vision to bring my fantastic plot to its final fruition. I could see the potential in her operation. But, oh, how she squandered her power.
It's not easy being in middle management I guess. But isn't Cyberspace Motherboard's domain? And isn't the renowned scientist Dr. Marbles the great innovative mind behind its most outstanding inventions? It says here that Dr. Marbles built you as an assistant to Motherboard, sort of a glorified techie. And that he later banished you to the Northern Frontier when you tried to stage a coup?
I was laid off! Marbles knew that with my considerable cranial talents I would soon be running all of Cyberspace. That's why he tried to get rid of me. But I would not be ignored.
So you hatched a plan.
Yesssss, a plan. I created a nasty little virus to disable Motherboard causing her to lose much of her memory and functions. Now the virtual universe is in jeopardy! And I intend to step in to claim my predestined place as the rightful ruler. Then it will be all chaos and caviar for me!
But something keeps getting in your way. Three things actually -- those three Earth kids -- Jackie, Matt, and Inez. You know, the Cyber Squad. Some people are calling them heroes.
Heroes? Those insignificant insects can't stop me. Those diminutive gremlins are just a trio of white hats. They think they can hack THE HACKER?
So, how does one get into a career as a supervillain?
Once I left Motherboard's operation, I began my own sinister start-up. There in the icy north, I built my awesome ship -- The Grim Wreaker -- as my vehicle to bring chaos to all of Cyberspace. Finally, I created my humble assistants, Buzz and Delete, a pair of tin plated duncebuckets though they may be. But together, they are almost competent enough to carry-out my most dastardly deeds. Of course, there's that cyber-stool pigeon Digit.
Digit, isn't he with the Cyber Squad?
Yes, that supercilious cyber-turkey didn't have the stuff to make it as one of my henchman, so he flew the coop. Now he helps those three pre-teen terrestrial termites in their attempts to thwart my victories. That disloyal dodo will rue the day he ditched me and ran back to Motherboard. But let's talk about me. From the moment I first felt current flow through my circuits, I have craved power. Yes, power, power and more power. Dr. Marbles thought I would be content punching keyboards like some hackneyed pawn. Look at me, I am regal personage with a fine purple cloak and an elegant pocket protector. I am the one and only true leader of the virtual realm. I am THE HACKER!
So, what are some of the highlights of your solo career?
Ah, yes, There was the time I set my sights on the Sunisphere of Solaria. With the Sunisphere in my grasp, Solaria was transformed from a sunny resort into a doomed winter wonderland and an unlimited source of energy was mine.
Well, that's just fascinating. Here it is in my notes. But it seems those Earth kids and Digit managed to return the Sunisphere and restore Solaria to the tropical paradise it once was. And, let's see -- I know it's in my notes. Yes, they did it by -- er --estimating? Is that right, they got the Sunisphere back on its perch by estimating?
Come on, it was a lucky shot. Then there was the time I joined forces with the Wicked Witch to capture the kindly king of Happily Ever After. An odious little site where fairy tale creatures amuse themselves with their annoying rhymes and songs. We were to capture the kingdom's stash of golden eggs, but Witchie tried to double-cross me. She cast a spell on the sorry citizens of Happily fracturing their ability to count thus preventing them from paying the king's ransom. But I was ultimately paid in full, enough gold to finance my hostile takeover of Cyberspace.
Well, once again my notes seem to indicate that it was the Cyber Squad that taught the fairy tale folk how to count by tens and hundreds to meet your demand. And then they coaxed the Witch back to their side, and she took back the entire stash of golden eggs. Is that true?
Excuse me. I have come here to tell you about my wondrous personage. Not for you to fawn over those thorns in my glorious side.
Wow, what a story, brainpower wins the day. I have to make a note to my editor to do a piece on them.
That's enough! This interview is over. Goodbye!
Wait Hack! Can't you tell me more about these smart kids and their friend Digit and all the clever ways they one-up you all the time. Hackie, come back! Does this mean the press junket on the Grim Wreaker is out?
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