A few months ago, I wanted to go shopping with my friend. My mum finally agreed to let us go as long as we stayed within a shopping center that we both knew well. You have to trust her maturity because experiences like this will slowly help to build her confidence. It's totally understandable that you want her to be safe and you can do this by giving her a phone and make sure she calls you, for example, every half-hour. Give her a set time for you to pick her up and make sure she sticks to it. As well as being independent, she should be responsible! You say that your daughter is mature; this trip will be a great chance for her to prove her maturity and have fun! Try not to crowd her too much and make her tell you exactly where she's going, but you could make sure she stays within one center at all times that she already knows. I had a great time when I went shopping with my friend and I'm sure your daughter will too!
--Izzy, 12
My advice would be to talk to the other parents, and set up a place in the mall where the girls can check in with you or another parent every hour or so. I am still not allowed to go to the mall by myself. My mom usually shops in Dillard’s while I go to other “teen” stores with my friends. Your daughter may not like not being completely alone, but until you feel she’s ready to be completely alone, you shouldn't allow her to be. Trust your instincts; they are usually correct. If you do feel she is ready, get her a cell phone. That way, you can call and check in on her, and you can also be sure that if anything happens, she can call 911 or you. If you don’t want her to have her own cell phone yet, check with your wireless provider. They should have parent-controlled phones, where you can control who she can and cannot call.
--Janna
First off, I just want to say I am also an 11-year-old girl and I guess I am pretty mature (or at least more than the other girls in my school). I am the same age as your daughter so I guess I understand. Are her friends...mature? They wouldn't want to go around the mall and cause trouble, would they? Talk to her friends’ mothers and ask them if they (I mean at least 1 parent) will tag around in the background...just for a little while. That sounds kind of corny but someone has to drive them to the mall if it is a distance, right? If you let her, go then she will probably feel like, “My mom trusts me and I should trust her more!” Then she might talk to you more about boys, puberty, etc. I hope I helped! :)
--Thea, 11
I am in the same spot as your daughter. I would really like to go to the mall with three of my friends. Maybe you could test it by letting your daughter go to the mall for and hour or so, and if all goes well, let her go again for two hours. My mom says she wants me to call her every half-hour, which I'm fine with. My advice, if she's irresponsible, is to wait a while to let her go again, but if she's mature, let her go again.
--Rebecca, 10
I'm sure your daughter is very mature for her age, but still...she is only 11. I am 13, and I am still not allowed to go to the mall alone with friends. It’s not that my parents don't trust me, it's that the world today is very dangerous. I'm sure your daughter is mature enough to handle going to the mall with just three friends, but is she mature enough to know what to do if an emergency situation suddenly occurred? What if someone tried to kidnap her and her friends? Does she have a cell phone she could use to contact you incase of an emergency? If you do decide to let your daughter go, tell her NOT to: talk to strangers, get into a car with anyone, not to give out any personal information, and other essential safety rules. If your daughter still wants to go to the mall, an adult could go but stay outside the shop and wait for them to come out. That way, it seems like and feels like your daughter will be shopping on her own and it will also get her prepared for when she does go shopping on her own. Again, I'm sure your daughter is very smart and responsible...it is just that there are people out there who would hurt her and her friends. I hope I helped!
--Laura, 13
Before you let your daughter go, imagine the conditions of your daughter and environment in an emergency. It all depends on where you live, just HOW mature your daughter is, and what the people are like in your area. If the mall is ten minutes away at the most, your daughter and her friends know what to do in case of an emergency, and the people in your area are nice and friendly, then I'd say it's all right. However, if ANY of these conditions are the opposite of what I've listed, then you might want to tag along with your daughter. Also, you might want to give your daughter your cell phone (if you have one) and a list of numbers she could call for help if anything went wrong.
--Kelsey, 11
I think if you trust your daughter, you should let her go to the mall. The more you show your trust, the more she will show she deserves it. To make sure she's okay, you should have her call every half-hour to let you know what's going on and that she's having fun. If you're really worried about her, you could bring her to the mall and then shop at your own stores, meeting up with the girls when they are done shopping.
--Mona, 13
I'm the youngest in my family, so my mom doesn't let me go to certain places yet. I too am mature for my age, and there is nothing more annoying than wanting to go to a place and not being allowed to. That may be your daughter's point of view. I understand yours too. You should sit down with your daughter and remind her of all the safety rules and ask her exactly what she's going to do. Set up an exact time and place to meet her. If your daughter does have a cell phone, make sure she brings it. If not, either give her yours or make sure a friend has one. Also, make sure they stay in a group the whole time. I know it's hard to let your daughter start doing things by herself, but you've got to trust her to make the right decisions now that she's older.
--Christina
With three of her friends, she will probably be safe, just because of the number of people. They’ll look out for one another. Make sure you or another parent you trust picks up and drops off, and give her some tips on how to be safe. If she has a cell phone, make sure she brings it and has it on at all times. If not, either loan her yours or someone else’s if possible. If not, make sure at least one of her friends has a phone or that your daughter has money for a pay phone and knows where they are. Remind your daughter that security guards are there to help her, and that the best way to stay safe is to stay where there are plenty of other shoppers. Best of luck!
--Katt, 13
I'm a little older than her, and my mom doesn't let me go anywhere (except school), unless 3 or 4 of my friends are going with me. Your daughter might have the maturity, but she's still young. If her friends are the same age as her, be extremely careful. If they're older and people you can trust, let them know that you worry about her. They might keep an eye out for her while still having fun. But just don't flat out say "no" to her, if you decide for her not to go. Back it up with reasons why you don't want her to go. If you end up saying yes, explain to her what to do in case of ANY sort of emergency that might happen.
--Amaya
Letting your daughter go to the mall can be a hard thing to do! Whether or not you let her go is up to you but if you do decide she can go, then safety is important. To keep your daughter and her friends safe during their trip to the mall, they should have a cell phone with emergency number stored in it with them or change for a pay phone. They should stick together to prevent any of them getting lost, they should have transportation to and from the mall and a meeting place to be picked up at, and they should be sure not to talk to any strangers or give out any personal information. I hope I helped!
--Taylor, 11
