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September 2004
Dear Owl,
At school, some kids like to form little clubs. They decide who gets to be in the club and who doesn't.
Sometimes when I'm playing with a friend, we'll go up to a girl who's in a club and ask if we can play with her. The club girl says one of us can play, but not the other.
What should I do? It's hard, no matter if I am the one included or the one excluded.
Signed,
Kalie, age 9, of Chicago, Illinois
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Dear Kalie,
Hoooooooot! That's not fair!
I'm sad to say, what happened to you happens in every school. Kids naturally form groups -- and so do owls. (By the way, a group of us is called a parliament.)
Sometimes those groups leave people out. Hoooot! Hooooot! That can hurt.
If you're the one included, you could tell the club girl -- let's call her Screech Owl -- that you and your friend -- let's call her Barn Owl -- were already playing together. You could say that you won't play with Screech Owl unless Barn Owl can too.
If Screech Owl still says no, you and Barn Owl can walk away and play without her. After all, you were playing with Barn Owl first -- and it would be a mistake to be mean your friend just because Screech Owl was. Maybe Screech Owl could learn a lesson from you about what it means to be a real friend.
It's harder if you are the one excluded. Being left out can feel pretty lousy. I hope your friend Barn Owl sticks with you if that happens.
If she doesn't, you have a few choices. You can play with other friends. Or you can tell a parent or a teacher, especially if things don't blow over right away. An adult who knows you can help make things better. And you can tell Barn Owl she's not very cool for what she did.
Signed,
The Owl
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