Dear IML,
I'm only 10 and dealing with acne. Sometimes people just stare. What should I do?
--Alina, 10

From Paul Horowitz, M.D., F.A.A.P.

Alina,
Thank you for your question. Even though you're 10, your body is probably starting to change from a child into an adult. This is sort of like changing from a caterpillar into a butterfly. Your skin is one of those parts of your body that changes during this important time in your life, and it might be having trouble with these changes. You may feel like you're the only one your age with this problem, but almost everyone gets acne as their body changesit's just happening to you a bit earlier than others.

There are lots of things you should and shouldn't do about your acne to clear it up and reduce the chance of permanent scars. First, talk to your pediatrician about what should be done for your type of skin and the type of acne you have. Try not to pop or squeeze the acne, and remember to wear your sunscreen. A caterpillar gets to hide in a cocoon while it's changing; unfortunately, you can't do this! The first thing to remember, even though it can be difficult, is that your acne will eventually go away. When people stare at you, why not smile at them? Smiling at them can be your way of letting them know that you feel good about yourself. That's what's most important.

Dear Alina,
I know what it's like to be the first girl in the group to go through something embarrassing. I was the first one to develop breasts and get my period. It definitely stinks to get acne when you're only ten, but I promise that you won't be the only one with bad skin forever. It's something EVERY teenager goes through eventually. Actually, think of yourself as lucky: the sooner it starts, the sooner it will be over! Ask a parent if you can see a dermatologist (a skin doctor), who can prescribe acne medicine or a daily face wash. If you'd rather not see a dermatologist, you or your parent can also ask your pediatrician to recommend a non-prescription face wash. I know it must be really hard to feel like people are staring at you, but it will stop with time. Good Luck!
--Jenna, IML Mentor

Dear Alina,
You're beginning to go through one of the most dreaded parts of becoming a teenager. Just remember that you have very little control of what goes on in your body. It won't last forever, and if you think about it, there are many worse things to deal with in life. Ask a parent to take you to the doctor for help, and don't forget that lots of other people have the same problem that you do.
--Johanne, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I just got my period. I get really frustrated and I don't want to be. Plus, I don't know how to tell my mom! Help
--Halli, 11

From Anshu Batra, MD

Dear Halli,
Congratulations! This is something to be happy about, because it means you're growing up. It's natural to feel frustrated about your period, which is also known as "menstruation," because of all the hormones running through your body. Hormones are chemicals that are released by the brain and other organs. When you hit puberty, they cause rapid changes in your body size, shape, and structureand they can affect your emotional reactions to things! Also, if you're not totally sure about what is happening -- for instance, if menstruation hasn't been explained to you by an adult -- that can also be frustrating.

If you feel that you don't have enough information about what's happening to your body, there are lots of great books you can find at the library. Your school nurse or counselor can also help.

It's very important that you tell your mother, no matter how difficult it may seem. She will be able to answer questions for you and give you all sorts of advice. Remember, she gets her period, too! The normal symptoms of menstruation include: cramping, breast tenderness and fullness, headaches, feeling bloated, feeling tired and/or cranky, getting mood swings, and increased appetite. If you're getting one or more of these symptoms very severely, and it's keeping you from normal activities like school and sports, you should see your doctor for helpand that's another reason why your mother should know about your period.

I hope this makes you feel a little better about the changes you're going through!

Halli,
I was also eleven when I got my period, one of the first girls in my class. Sometimes I would get jealous thinking that most girls were not going to get their period for a long time, but I'm happy that I got mine when I did because I got to help my friends out when they got theirs. Halli, many girls have different side effects from their periods. I get cramps, my other friends get pimples, and some friends, like you, get quite frustrated. The best thing to do in dealing with your period is to just breathe and relax. (I also like to eat chocolate!) I hope everything works out!
--Danielle, IML Mentor

Halli,
All of the fears and confusion you feel are completely normal. I know it may be awkward to tell your mom, but she is a woman, and has gone through the same thing that you have gone through. My mom just hugged me and it made me feel so much better. I was very scared, but I also thought it was very exciting. I felt so much older and mature. It was hard to get used to at first, but once I did, it wasn't a big deal anymore.
--Lindsey, IML Mentor

Dear Halli,
I also was frustrated when I got my period last year. I'm pretty lucky to have an older sister, because she gave me a lot of info before I started getting periods and she was the first one I told. She also helped me tell my mom about it. If you don't have an older sister, try to remember that when your mom was your age, she experienced the exact same thingmaybe she even worried about telling your grandma about it! Consider telling her straight out when you sit down and talk. Or, you could tell her indirectly by asking her to buy some sanitary napkins. Having periods means that you've reached a new stage in your life so just be bold and don't be afraid to tell your mom about it. Maybe she'll feel happy that her little girl has grown up!
--Joyce, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I am always having trouble sleeping. I don't fall asleep 'till 1 or 2 in the morning, then I have to wake up to get ready for school at 6. My mom won't let me take anything to help me sleep. What can I do to sleep better?
--Rachel, 11

From Paul Horowitz, MD, FAAP

Hi there Rachel,
It's really common to have trouble getting to sleep. It sounds like the pressure to get up early in the morning is really bothering you, too. There are some things that might make getting to sleep easier, but taking medicine, herbs, or other things isn't the way to go. These can lead to problems of their own, and good sleep habits are important to learn now, because they'll probably stay with you for a long time. If you don't get the sleep you need, it's likely that you'll seem grouchy and get frustrated more easily, and school will get harder.

Here's my advice: Try to develop the same routine before going to sleep every night. It might mean writing in a journal, stretching, showering, or reading a book. It should be some activity that's calming (no scary books or action-packed television shows/video games). After a few days of this, your body will get used to the idea that the stretching or reading, or whatever you're doing, means it's time to get ready to sleep. If you're worried, stressed, or sad about something, it's normal to have trouble sleeping. If this is the case with you, please be sure to contact a trusted adult like your parents, a teacher, your pediatrician, or a school counselor.

Dear Rachel,
I used to have the same exact problem, and once in a while I still do. Last year for about three weeks straight, I couldn't fall asleep until 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. Like you, my parents wouldn't let me take anything to help. They were right, because you can build a dependency on pills and eventually, you might build up a tolerance to them and nothing will work. I talked to a doctor about my sleeping problem, and I was given some helpful tips to get better sleep. First of all, don't eat a lot an hour or so before you sleep, especially sweets or sodas. Also, try not to watch a lot of TV right before you sleep. Instead, try to read a book, even if it's boring for you (actually, that will make you even more tired!). Another thing that helps me is to have a fan or some other light, constant noise going on that blocks out all other sounds. I hope these little tips help!
--Jordan, IML Mentor

Dear Rachel,
You sound so much like me! I'm always having trouble sleeping and once, I didn't fall asleep 'til 5 in the morning, just an hour before I had to wake up to get ready for school! Sometimes I wonder if I've been thinking too much, worrying about school, stuff like that. You're supposed to really relax in order to sleep well, so it's important to find something that calms yourself down an hour or so before you go to bed. Also, try to go to bed as soon as you feel sleepy. Sometimes that "sleepy time" passes and you can no longer fall asleep.
--Joyce, IML Mentor

Rachel,
I completely understand how hard it is to fall asleep. I think just about every one goes through this. Exercise is a great way to make yourself tired. If you schedule 30 to 40 minutes of some intense exercise, at least 2 to 3 hours before bedtime, it will not only get you in shape, but also work out any excess energy that would normally keep you up. Exercise also helps clear your mind and makes homework easier. If this doesn't work, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor.
--Mikey, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
My grandma smokes and my family comes by a lot to visit. When we come, she's always smoking. I always go to another room where I can't smell the smoke. I'm worried about my baby brother or someone else getting sick from secondhand smoke. What should I do?
--Kelly, 11

From Melissa Havard, Office on Smoking and Health, Centers for Disease Control

Hi Kelly, Thank you so much for writing. Obviously, you're very mature to understand that secondhand smoke can cause people to get sick. First, if possible, try to talk with either your mom or dad. Tell them that you love your grandma very much, and although you don't want to tell her what to do or be disrespectful, her smoking in the house makes you worried, especially for your baby brother. Hopefully, one of your parents can take her aside and politely ask her not to smoke in the house when you're visiting. Another option is to sit down with your grandma and tell her you love her, and that you're concerned about her smoking. More importantly, tell her you don't want your baby brother to get sick and that her secondhand smoke will cause health problems in your family. I'm sure she's not even aware that her habit is bothering you. If you want extra information, visit the Tobacco Information and Prevention Source, where you can print out fact sheets on smoking. Best of luck!

Check out IML's section on Smoking: Health Hazards for more details on how secondhand smoke causes problems.

Dear Kelly,
I know exactly how you feel. My aunt was a smoker for a long time and I couldn't stand being around her or smelling the traces of cigarettes on her breath. I loved her very much, but I hated having to breathe in smoke to be with her. The one thing that I did after a while was go to my parents about my feelings. They understood completely, and told me that they would say something to her about it. My parents told her that I loved her very much and that I was worried about her health, and the rest of the family as well. My aunt gradually kicked her addiction to smoking using chewing gum, and eventually quit altogether! It made everyone much happier and more pleasant when we were together.
--Jordan, IML Mentor

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