|
SETTING: A 1950's diner
(Customer1 is looking at a menu with Customer2, as a Waiter comes to the table.)
Waiter:
Welcome to the Rhyme Time Diner, where things couldn't be any finer! Thanks for coming to our venue. Are you done with that menu? How can I be of help to you? Could I recommend the raisin stew?
(Customer1 has a confused face.)
Waiter:
If you like shellfish, try the mussels. If you like sprouts, try the Brussels!
Customer1 (To Customer2):
What's wrong with this person?
(Customer2 hushes him.)
Customer2 (To Waiter):
I think I'd like some pea soup.
Waiter:
I'm sorry sir, just something minor. There's only rhyming in this diner.
Customer1:
What?
Waiter:
All right, I'll tell you a second time. All your orders have to rhyme!
Customer1 (To Customer2):
This is ridiculous.
Customer2:
It looks fun!
(To Waiter.) My buddy Jim will have pea soup, And I'll have ice cream-just one scoop. He'd also like some chocolate cake, We'll have coffee and... uh... the grilled steak!
Waiter:
Very good choices, indeed. I'll bring back just what you need!
(Waiter exits.)
Customer1 (To Customer2):
I can't turn everything into a poem!
Customer2:
Come on, Jim! You can show 'em!
(Customer1 gives Customer2 another look and shakes his head.) (The Waiter returns holding a tray on his shoulder.)
Waiter:
I have another trick or two. Your order is rhymed when served to you. You wanted pea soup, So here's your Bee soup.
(The Waiter hands them a bowl with liquid and a big Bumble Bee in it.)
Waiter:
You wanted a grilled steak, Here's your grilled shake.
(The Waiter hands them a shake with grill marks on the side.)
Waiter:
You asked for some coffee. Here's your cup of toffee.
(The Waiter pours a droopy cup of tan liquid onto the table.)
Waiter:
You wanted chocolate cake, So here's your chocolate rake.
(The Waiter pulls a large brown chocolate-looking rake from off screen.)
Waiter:
And you wanted ice cream - just one scoop, So here's your scoop - of facial goop!
(The Waiter scoops a big glob of face cream onto his hand and applies it to Customer1's face!)
Customer1:
What IS this?! I don't want BEE soup. I didn't ask for TOFFEE! And what am I gonna do with a CHOCOLATE RAKE! AND we wanted ICE CREAM, not this slimy facial GOOP!
(Customer1 is furious and tries to take off some of the face cream with his napkin.)
Customer1:
TAKE THIS STUFF BACK!!!
(Obnoxious Waiter puts her fingers in her ears.)
Waiter:
I can't hear you! You know the rule! If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't cool!
Customer1:
Do you BELIEVE this?!!
Customer2:
This is annoying and it is outrageous. But the rhyming thing is pretty contagious...
Customer1:
Look, this place is awful and you're RUDE. I'm not going to pay for this...
(Waiter looks expectantly.)
Customer1:
Pay for this...
(Customer2 looks at Customer1 expectantly.) (Customer1 tries again.)
Customer1:
This place's awful and you're rude, I'm not going to pay for this... lunch?
(Exasperated, the Waiter finishes Customer1's sentence for him.)
Waiter:
No! Food rhymes with rude! You're not going to pay for this FOOD!
Customer1:
(Runs over to Waiter.) Could you say that again?
Waiter:
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PAY FOR THIS FOOD!!!
(Customer1 takes this as his permission to leave.)
Customer1:
Thank YOU... DUDE!
(Customer1, laughing, gets up with Customer2 and they leave the diner.) |
