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SETTING: A restaurant. You could also put on this play in your kitchen or dining room.
(All characters sing their lines in dramatic fashion. At the start, the Customer is sitting at a table, looking at a bowl of soup. The Waiter enters.)
Customer:
Excuse me.
Waiter:
Mademoiselle, what is the problem?
Customer:
I can't eat this soup!
Waiter:
Ah, yes I will send for the head chef.
Customer:
But I...
Waiter:
Hey, mac, come 'ere on de double.
(The Chef enters.)
Chef:
(Chef speaks in fake French accent.) Yes, mademoiselle?
Waiter:
This woman claims she cannot eat our soupe du jour.
Customer:
But...but...but...
Chef:
Oh, my. I will call for the manager. Miss Smith, could you step over here for a minute?
(Manager enters.)
Manager:
Is there anything I can do to help?
Chef:
This woman says that she cannot eat her soup.
Manager:
Oh, my, my, my...So busy...busy...busy! Call in the FBI! Terribly sorry about this, but there is nothing I can do to help.
Customer:
But all I want is. . .
Manager:
Oh, never mind that! We'll get you the salt later.
(Manager exits. The FBI Agent walks in looking annoyed.)
FBI Agent:
What seems to be the problem here?
Chef:
This customer cannot eat her soup, so she says. Can you help us?
FBI Agent:
This is a matter for the President!!
(Customer sighs just as the President walks in.)
President:
Young lady you have called me all the way from Washington, D.C! Now what is the problem, why can't you eat your soup!?
Customer:
I DON'T HAVE A SPOON!!!!!!!!!
All (except Customer):
(First they say it, then they sing it.) Ohhh...!
Waiter:
Here ya go!
(Waiter hands Customer a spoon.)
Customer:
Thanks!
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