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SETTING: A movie set.
(All of the characters get more annoyed each time they have to re-do the scene.) (Director and Captain are already on set.)
Director:
Where is that actress? She is sooooooo late!
(Actress runs in.)
Actress:
Here I am! Here I am! Sorry I'm late! What do I have to say?
Director:
Finally! Now, what you do is first you run in and yell, "Captain, oh Captain the ship is sinking!" And then the Captain will say, "What happened?" And you'll say, "We hit an iceberg." The Captain will say, "How fast are we going?" And you'll say, "45 knots." And the Captain will say, "What direction are we going in?" And you'll say, "Northeast." And once we get that, we'll go on. OK?
Actress:
OK, I think I got it.
(Actress exits so she can make her entrance. Director sits in chair.)
Director (calling through megaphone):
Ready, and action!
(Actress runs in.)
Actress:
Captain, oh Captain! The ship is stinking!
Director:
No, no, no. Cut! It is "sinking!"
Actress:
Ohhhhh.
(Actress exits, ready to make her entrance again.)
Director (calling through megaphone):
Ready, and action!
(Actress runs in.)
Actress:
Captain, oh Captain! The ship is sinking!
Captain:
Well what happened?
Actress:
We hit an ice cube!
Director:
No, no, no. It's "We hit an iceberg." Let's try it again.
(Actress exits. After a pause, Actress runs in.)
Actress:
Captain, oh Captain! The ship is sinking!
Captain:
Well, what happened?
Actress:
We hit an iceberg!
Captain:
How fast are we going?
Actress:
Ummmmmmmmmm, I forgot.
Director:
Eeeeerrrrrrrrr! It is "45 knots." Go back and do it again.
(Actress exits again. After a pause, she runs in.)
Actress:
Captain, oh Captain! The ship is sinking!
Captain:
Well, what happened?
Actress:
We hit an iceberg!
Captain:
How fast are we going?
Actress:
45 knots.
Captain:
What direction are we going in?
(Actress can't remember her line. She gives a blank look to the Captain.) (Director faints.)
Actress (looking at director):
Well . . . down.
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