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SETTING: The entrance to the palace and the Queen's chamber. (But you could perform this play in your living room.)
(All characters speak with English accents.)
Narrator:
Once upon a time there was a princess who had the most horrible temper. It was so awful that the queen could do nothing about it. But one day...
(Sound of a doorbell.)
Butler:
Yes? What would you like?
Prince:
I have come to ask the queen for her daughter's hand in marriage.
Butler:
Really? Well, wait here while I go ask the queen. Oh, queen?
Queen:
Yes?
Butler:
There's a prince out there who wants your daughter to give him a hand.
Queen:
Really? Well, I'll go tell the princess. Oh, princess?
(The princess is busy looking in the mirror and brushing her hair.)
Princess:
What?
Queen:
There is a prince at the door who wants you to give him a hand.
Princess:
Fine.
(Princess claps, applauding.)
Queen:
Fine.
(Queen turns to the Butler.) The princess says . . .
(The Queen applauds.)
Butler:
All right!
(Butler returns to the Prince, who is waiting at the door.) The princess says . . .
(The Butler applauds.)
Prince:
What are you doing?
Butler:
You wanted the princess to give you a hand.
Prince:
No. I want the princess's hand in marriage.
Butler:
You want to marry her hand?
Prince:
No! I don't want just her hand. I want ALL OF HER!
Butler:
Oliver?
Prince:
All of her.
(Butler returns to the Queen.)
Butler:
The prince says he wants Oliver.
Queen:
Oliver? The gardener?
Butler:
Yes. He wants his hand.
Queen:
Oh, princess! The prince says that he wants Oliver.
Princess:
The gardener?
Queen:
Yeah. He's handy.
(Princess goes to the Prince.)
Princess:
Are you the prince?
Prince:
Yes! Yes!
Princess:
Well, this is Oliver.
(Oliver enters with a shovel.)
Oliver:
You need a hand?
(Prince looks at the audience, completely confused.) |
