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SETTING: 2 separate living rooms, one on each side of the stage. Callers on opposite side of stage from Person waiting for call to give sense of being in different place.
Person waiting for the call:
(Speaking aloud to herself reading newspaper that says "President Finds Shoe".) I'm still waiting for the President to call, but I keep getting these Eddie calls!
(Phone rings. Person waiting for the call goes to answer the phone.) Maybe that's her now. Hello.
Operator:
Hello, this is the operator calling, will you accept a collect call for Eddie?
Person waiting for the call:
I'm sorry, there's no Eddie here. You have the wrong number.
(Hangs up phone. Phone rings again.)
Person waiting for the call:
(Picking up phone.) Hello?
Young Student:
(Young Student has a backpack and is holding books. Young Student is speaking in Spanish.) Hola Eddie. Usted desea venir a mi casa y nuestra preparacion junto?
Person waiting for the call:
Uh, sorry but there's no Eddie here. You must have the wrong number.
(Hangs up. Phone rings again.)
Person waiting for the call:
(Picking up phone.) Hello?
Clown:
(Clown is dressed like a clown and is wearing clown makeup.) Eddie? Did I leave my rubber nose at your house?
Person waiting for the call:
Sorry, but you definitely have the wrong number!
(Hangs up phone. Phone rings again.)
Person waiting for the call:
Hello?
Scientist:
(Scientist is dressed in a labcoat, and is wearing a wig with wacky looking hair.) Eddie, come down to the lab quick! I just made an AMAZING discovery!
Person waiting for the call:
Sorry, there's no Eddie here!
(Hangs up phone. Phone rings again.)
Person waiting for the call:
Hello?
Radio DJ:
(Radio DJ is wearing casual DJ clothes. He is holding a jar of pickles.) Congratulations Eddie! You are the lucky winner of a year's supply of PICKLES!
Person waiting for the call:
Listen, for the last time, there's NO EDDIE here!
(Hangs up phone. Growls. Turns on answering machine and walks off.) (Phone rings again) (Answering machine picks up. We hear, "Hi this is Jesse, please leave me a message.")
President:
This is the President. I just want to congratulate you on finding my lucky shoe. Also, could you please have Eddie give me a call?
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